Dancin' with the Devil

It came as great surprise to my girlfriend Meagan when she rang my residence last night and was informed by my quasi-husband/housemate Karen, that I was on the train. There was shock, followed by a phonecall on my mobile saying...."Train!! Since when do YOU get the train?". This girl is now PT through and through...and hardened because of it. My train this morning was cancelled which you could barely make out through the incoherent darth vader voice crackling over the speaker. So when the next train came it was carrying double the amount of standard passengers and was bursting at the seams. Initially I would have just cowered and waited for the next one. Not anymore. I torpedoed myself into the middle of the carriage and even used my elbows to clamour my way to a pole. Now that's hardcore. I endured yet another disappointment last night which is becoming most predictable. I'm not sure why I am still entertaining the idea of the slick englishman when all he does is stuff me around. He makes dates to break them and I don't really get it. After cancelling Monday evening due to work stuff, he promised to make it up to me with dinner last night. Only I get an email in the afternoon saying he's got a client coming in at 5:30 with 3 candidates and has to do the interviews for them and that he would be a bit late but will call me when he get's home. Well...I put on my trackies and ate a hot cross bun safe in the gut instinct I would not be venturing out. I GET AN SMS at 8:30 saying "sorry babe, just got home". And ??????? I dreamt up the scenario that he's probably wined and dined someone with the thought of squeezing a 2 in one night date. Bloody lothario. I officially hated him at that point....and then he rang. This tired little english voice was at the other end and very apologetic and went it to great detail of what happened at work and why it went so long....and I believed him but was still unimpressed. He's either a very good liar, or knows exactly how to play me..or both! I then got several messages begging my not to be grumpy with him and how sorry he is blah blah. So Friday night is his LAST get out of jail free card. I'm not sure why I keep up with it as I know I deserve better...but there is something rather unfinished where he is concerned. Like there's something I need to find out. It's hard to be dating in your 30's as there are such slim pickings, and those that are available have either been married or through some trauma. They are "spat out the dark side" as I like to call it. May I also vent that I am SICK of being the office functions person. Why is that every company I work at..people come to me with ..."so @#$# is leaving, we should really organise a gift and lunch. Let me know if you need help with that". What is it about me that screams social event organiser??? I'm tired today and am having a sneezing attack. I also have an allergy rash on my thighs from the weird pre packaged Miso soup I bought. Nice...