The Opposite of Attraction

Well what a weekend. The lead up to Christmas always goes in a bit of a blur like a fuzzy, fragmented dream...and then you wake up and your are bloated and generally drifting in some sort of alchoholic recovery in the days pre and post New Years. I'd like for a moment to look at the power of attraction as I've been tossing it over in my head. I always look at both the partnerships/flings I've had and also look at what draws people to one another. Is it a case of chemistry when cupids arrow strikes? Do we look for someone that has elements of an influential parent, or perhaps some characteristics that mirror our own? Do we look for a balance or someone that fills the voids in our own make up? Science said that we are attracted to symetrically correct partners with features that we feel would reproduce fine looking child specimens. Well I'm confused then, as to why I attract people that seem like they have just clambered off a UFO. After thinking I was in the safest of places (at a gay club to see dear ellie perform) and looking at all the gorgeous topless men knowing that I can't go near any of them, I unfortunately caught the eye of this odd indian man who then lurched at me from the darkness and tried to grab my hand. Unless he mistook me for a drag queen, I think he may have not been aware of his surroundings! After repositioning myself on the dancefloor, and subsequently forgetting him - I was reminded of his presence when I left the floor and felt his hand grazing my lower region. He touched me on the wee wee and I'm a she she, not a he he. So that was rather shocking. And then there was the strange man on acid who chose me to display his tribal dancing ritual in very close proximity to my personal space in front of the stage. Oh and let's not forget the wedding I mc'd at on Saturday where one of the more dorkier of single men decided I was the apple of his eye all night. Wherever I went, he went. Whenever I got up off my seat, I was whisked to the dancefloor, whenever I wanted a drink ...the waiter was flagged down and there it was. WHY WHY WHY can't this happen with the more adjusted variety of males?? Is there such a thing?? My interest in the opposite sex was mildly piqued by the charming englishmen, but given his excessive overload of interest has coolled just as quickly as it began, it does make you wonder. Where have all the good men gone????????