Ring a Ding Ding

I've been meaning to blog my intense dislike for something. They are loud, slow, annoying and cease to have much benefit, yet they are an icon particularly in this town. And that is the tram!
I remember missing melbourne's trams when I was overseas. I fondly remembered it's rattle and the carved wood seats of the vintage trams. The old fashioned splendor was such an institution and hallmark to the bygone era. NOW they are these huge, monolithic winding caterpillars that lethargically crawl through the busy intersections of melbourne, clotting up the narrowing lanes and stopping every few metres to spit or swallow its contents. But the most disturbing thing about the trams evolution, is the sonic bell that is now featured on them...as well as the new sense of power and authority that the driver now wields with his electronicised tolling. What was once a delicate ding (akin to the triangle instrument) at intersections when the tram stopped or drew attention to itself....is now worse than a bogans airhorn in a torana. It seems to be the new "trigger happy" instrument to drivers of the tram and anyone in contact with a tram (whether commuting or daring to enter it's path). I hear the satannic DINGING all across the city as trams berate pedestrians, drivers, pigeons, goodlooking girls crossing the street, other trams. Then I drove to work the other morning and tried to outrun a tram before it got to it's tramstop and DING! Then he caught up with me at the next traffic lights and pulled up next to me. I heard this infernal DING DING DING which drenched out my radio and turned around to see this little man driving the tram and waving his finger at me....along with several amused passengers peering down at me and smiling. I tried to turn right at an intersection on the weekend and was across tram tracks (there wasn't a tram in sight at the time) and this tram came hurtling down towards me breaking the speed of sound with it's sonic DING DING DING as it halted impatiently. Is there some sort of runaway license these tram driving bastards now have in order to unleash such aggression and sound pollution on unsuspecting civilians?? For the first time in a while, I had the unfortunate experience of getting a tram home which was equally unsettling. Not only was the tram late, but as it snailed it's way through the city and suburbs...lurching, DINGING and stopping every few seconds...I realised why I preferred trains. A 10 minute journey home compared to a 50 minute retarded, noisy and abusively laden tram experience, wins hands down. I think the DINGING haunts me at night. When you least expect it...you will get dinged. It's inevitable....