sun, splash, peel, crash

After blue skies, changing tides, champagne delights and a belly full of food - I have returned to be swallowed by the grey, colourless 4 walls that I left weeks ago. The tinsel has faded and 2006 has replaced the anus that 2005 was. With many stories and amusing incidents over the weeks it was hard to pinpoint where to commence my blog, so it will be an slow evolution of thought over the next week or so methinks. Sydney was a testosterone infused experience with my dear boys and ellie. There's nothing quite as off-putting as seeing the first hand mechanics of single men on heat with a pack mentality. Every conversation is devoted to sex, breasts and bolstering eachothers egos. It's cute for the first hour but quickly becomes an obsession and primal mission as the sun goes down. I yearn for dinner parties, intelligent discussion and culture and at the moment they are more about "pussy". Anyways, all that aside a tried to turn off and manifested my frustration and turned thoughts to those of more self reflection. 2006 will be a better year and I have to abolish the laziness and self-doubt that keep me from pushing my boundaries. No more girl in the bubble. In saying that, I've learned how to treat the "dating game" of the millenia and that is with little seriousness. The more disengaged I grew, the more persistent was the englishman who was relentless with smsing sweet nothings and declarations of despair and phonecalls bemoaning my absence from his world. This culminated in me nonchalantly agreeing to see him again despite his attachment to a 24 year old business associate who he describes as a "holiday fling without the holiday". If it wasn't for the fact he is 6ft 2", tanned, dark, handsome with extraordinarily large...............hands, I probably would have run a mile. But going against my better judgement and morals, there is an allure far greater than I can gauge. And despite my protestations and faux shyness...the inner minx just seems to want to come out. I guess things have been dormant for several months and there's pent up energy that needs to be expressed.
Who needs a white knight on a horse, when you can ride on the dark side for a while until it gets boring or you get burnt...whatever comes first!