With a rather colourless job that I force my rested limbs to rise to every day...and a lack lustre love life...I've sought comfort in the fact that we don't always get the trifecta of work, love, home balance...but usually one of them coasts along ok. For me that's been home. I think about my club chair during the day and curling up in it whilst watching my comfortable television selections. My daily rituals involve exercise, food preparation (in it's most moderate form) and cooing to my house mate about the latest ailment, our live-in possum or my complaints with work. I love our garden....and I love looking around our house feeling like it's a home before snuggling under my doona. Well my house mate is moving out with her boyfriend which was announced two nights ago. Despite knowing this was inevitable and definitely on the horizon, I hadn't really thought or processed the repercussions. This being: hopefully being able to stay in the house (the rent is in her name), finding a house mate, paying out her bond in full and the disappearance of the house contents. Apart from my plucky hard rubbish finds, which I believe are VERY beautiful and full of rustic splendor.....the reality is....I don't own any white goods or even a toaster, tv or stereo. And this computer I am typing on, since rediscovering and delighting in blogging once again, will be gone...along with my house mate. No facebook, no blogging, no chatter, no tupperware, no fridge. BUT I WILL BE FINE. This is, afterall, a global economic crisis. Things are tough, but I have my health (I'm so sick of saying that when I do a stocktake of my misery). I can always return home and live like a retarded child with my family at the age of 34 and rediscover the adolescent trauma that is combining the volatility of my mothers personality with mine = fireworks that Sydney would be proud of. OH god. At times like this, you always hear about other strange goings on... breakups, people moving, job swaps...2009 is time for change whether we like it or not. I'm just hoping that through all of this, happiness pops into the picture at some point. Part of the promise of good things, is the power of positive thinking or at least putting what you want out to the universe (where the fuck is my stimulus package mr universe??). A reason I do not physically harness this energy and write things down as I'm partially suspended by fear. I almost don't want to be held accountable for my goals and they instill much the same fear as "KPI's" you are laden with in a job. The difference is, you meet those KPI's for recognition and ultimately for someone else. With your own...you are pleasing yourself. This could be ultimately very rewarding or very disappointing if you don't work towards it and keep the momentum going. Today I am going to be brave and write down my goals! Here they are...
1. To come in to money
2. To be more trusting and open with men and not shoot them down in flames
3. To consider emotionally and physically committing to a man/life partner that might not tick all the boxes on my list
4. To find a housemate (hopefully one that will say yes to my invitation - however desperate and dramatic it came across whilst he is holidaying in Thailand)
5. To go to Puerto Rico (see Goal No.1)
6. To nurture my friendships with those that are important and value my friendship
7. To not undersell or doubt myself
8. To try and go to bed earlier so I am not a zombie during the day
9. To maintain my exercise and colombian dancing
10. To turn perceived negatives into opportunities for creativity and future happiness
11. To work for my father and commit myself to developing and enhancing the business
12. To have no regrets and continue to live honestly and within my means
So tell my universe...whatcha gonna do with all that??
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