Turning Japanese

On the weekend I booked a night out at a japanese terriyaki restaurant to celebrate a friends victory. I think that sometimes there are a lot of important events in a persons life that go uncelebrated and this particular friend has had a lot of triumphs and also a lot of lows. But one thing I admire about him is his ability to dust himself off and keep going. I eventually get to that point, after I drink myself into a stupor, over analyse my life, talk about my life in achingly painful detail with those poor sods closest to me (you know who you are and I love you for loving me), lick my wounds and play Led Zeppelins best of disc 1 - 4 followed by "Electric Dreams". Now if there's one song to get you on your feet again, it's Electric Dreams. The world is ok again after that. Although there's also the reassurance of a good girlfriend who wrote herself off worse than me and was not only practically comatose most of Sunday, but also rammed her stiletto into her ex boyfriends car in drunken range (thankfully the shoe and her ankle remain in peak physical condition - god bless a good heel) and went to the service station & was asked whether it was her car that had rolled into the middle of Nicholson Street (she had neglected to use the hand brake when she went in to pay for her petrol). She makes me laugh. I chose to drink about 10 glasses of chardonnay, endured rice being thrown at me in our interactive japanese bbq (I guess my hand/eye coordination is not what it used to be), ate a fried prawn shell and coughed up a leg, put up with LESS THAN DESIRABLE dinner conversation (which really shouldn't bother me but it did as I have a strange & inexplicable soft spot for the person involved) and pole danced in the middle of Lonsdale St at 2:30am. I even got asked to do an encore by a car full of guys who had been applauding. Perhaps I've missed my calling in life?? Mens Gallery, here we come... I've thought a lot about my life and the fact I keep giving people the benefit of the doubt, and continue to see people that have since left my life for good reason, but I keep giving out more of myself. My stars recently said that people from my past will be in contact and 3 people have contacted me out of the blue. One a good friend who had a penchant for pinching the men in my life. Then I wonder why I get attracted to men are not long term prospects as for whatever reason they remain that little bit out of reach. Perhaps I do fear commitment or it's the challenge? I also wriggle in discomfort at the lovely bond that has been forged between two of my ex boyfriends. It's great that they get along, and clearly I have had good taste in men in the past....but I shiver with fear at what their conversation entails after a few beers... ick!
It's all just a little "Close" as my Mr Vandermeer would say. Like a sticky summers day that makes your palms sweaty. I just got a pay rise though. So life's not that bad.